GNARBOOTS

I.N.S.P.I.R.A.T.I.O.N

2011-11-22T14:04:00.001-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2011-09-29T11:13:00.001-07:00

We're gonna give you a present.

M.E.M.O.R.I.E.S.

2011-07-06T22:45:00.000-07:00

DRUMMMMIN'

2011-06-07T10:43:00.000-07:00

D.E.S.I.G.N.

2011-05-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

LOOK FRESH, FEEL FRESH, BE F.R.E.$.H

DON'T HATE THE PLAYA, HATE THE DE$$ERT.

GET IT GET IT, GET IT - GET IT, ooooooo.

SCIENCE!

2011-02-08T15:14:00.001-08:00

L.Y.R.I.C.S.

2011-02-08T11:09:00.000-08:00

WE ARE ALL

TO THE

OH YES

HERE COMES THE SNARE DR

JOINING THE BASS AND GUITAR

WE ARE ALL GNARBOOTS
NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE
(and we'll all be singing)
WE'LL ALL BE SINGING THE SAME SONG!

G.N.A.R. I.T. U.P.

2010-11-30T00:36:00.000-08:00

N.E.G.A.T.i.V.i.T.Y.

2010-11-18T16:02:00.000-08:00

BackInTheDayWhenIWasYoungImNotAKidAnymore...

2010-10-26T11:10:00.000-07:00

WE WERE SO YOUNG AND CARE-FREE. WHAT HAPPENED TO US!?

We're gonna need some more microphones

2010-10-14T13:28:00.000-07:00

This is what killing it looks like.

Our False Bob is an Awesome False Bob

2010-09-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

K.O.O.L.A.I.D.E

2010-09-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

REJECTED ALBUM ART

2010-08-24T15:08:00.000-07:00

O HAI, WE RUIN'D UR JOKE!

2010-08-23T09:27:00.000-07:00

Q:What was it like working with Rick Rubin producing the new album?

A: Hahaha, it was awesome. You know, we paid $100,000 a day and we…[at this point in the interview, members of the GNARBOOTS come outside to clap and sing "this is the start of the show"!]… Since we’re real punk rockers we grew our beards real long and auto-tuned everything as much as possible, and took all the life and energy out of our recordings because that’s what punk rock is all about – being the same as everyone else. Being different just like everyone else. Ya exactly, that’s what punk rock’s all about, conformity, these days.

Vamos a toca de los gnarboooots.

2010-08-22T21:59:00.000-07:00

SLOGANS

2010-08-19T08:59:00.001-07:00

F.A.N.///A.R.T.

2010-08-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

GLAD WE COULD INSPIRE THIS!

Looking Back<<<<<<<<>>Looking Forward

2010-08-13T08:50:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, THe Bears.

F.U.C.K.Y.E.S.

2010-08-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

http://ieatsandwicheswhenbandsbreakup.tumblr.com/
http://ieatsandwicheswhenbandsbreakup.tumblr.com/
http://ieatsandwicheswhenbandsbreakup.tumblr.com/
http://ieatsandwicheswhenbandsbreakup.tumblr.com/
http://ieatsandwicheswhenbandsbreakup.tumblr.com/
http://ieatsandwicheswhenbandsbreakup.tumblr.com/

The Touch/Feel of C.O.T.T.O.N.

2010-08-03T15:09:00.000-07:00

This is what

a GNARBOOTS shirt

looks like

if you were wearing it.

and you were invisible.

and you were visiting Tron.

Q: How do you do it?

2010-07-27T16:03:00.000-07:00

The Internet is a time machine forever moving into the past.

2010-07-19T13:04:00.001-07:00

Beats 4 Sale

2010-06-23T13:18:00.000-07:00

Getting so ~~hyphy~~ hype that everything gets unplugg'd.

C.U.P.E.R.T.I.N.O.

2010-06-15T16:24:00.000-07:00


"I prefer the black and white version of this" -AdamD

Who is that on your shirt? That's me.

2010-06-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

Being the center of attention = awesome

Reminder

2010-05-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

Gnarboots New Years Resolutions, 2003:
1) Stop stealing people's beers at show
2) Keep all of our clothes on for the entire set
3) Only play songs once during a set
4) Practice makes pefrect
5) Bring drums
6) Music is serious business
7) Matching outfits, muy professional
8) Every morning: 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups
9) If you don't have anything nice to say...
10) In bed by 10pm [important]

P.O.D.C.A.S.T.

2010-05-10T10:29:00.000-07:00

Rich (aka DANTE3000) came to our show at Mama Buzz, specifically to watch us drink half & half. However, he also had some microphones and a handheld recording device, so he recorded us talking because talking > music. We did it on the mean streets of Oakland, there were like a hundred drive bys and sideshows and drugdeals going on during it. Wanna hear what we sound like without the beats and the guitars and the drums?! Czech it out HERE!
There is so much talk talk talk talk that it took up two episodes! Look for them, get at them, then rub them in your earholes.

HTTP://WWW.SOUNDSCENEREVOLUTION.COM

O.M.N.I.V.O.R.E.S (met'l up ur azz)

2010-04-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

Hopt up on hot dogs

is it just bliss or

is it the smell of sad meat?

it is nirvana

Headlining Shows, Shutting Down Venues, Being the Best Possible Band

2010-03-07T23:24:00.000-08:00

Bob couldn't be in this picture. R.I.P.

BAREFOOT (a story by Aaron Carnes)

2009-11-16T15:56:00.000-08:00

Adam, Aaron, and Bob were just three regular guys that liked to walk around on their bare feet. There wasn’t much to it. They liked the way it felt. They couldn’t stand to be confined by those hideous shoes. It made them feel like prisoners in their own bodies.
AJ was a close personal friend to the three guys. He also liked to walk around barefoot but did so for different reasons. He’d say, “The more you get out of the habit of wearing shoes, then the more your feet can breath and whenever your feet are out touching the natural ground, you soak in all the antioxidants you might have otherwise missed. It’s called, ‘being grounded.’ I could loan you some books on the subject. Haven’t you noticed how healthy I’ve been lately?”
Whenever AJ explained to the group his reasons for going barefoot, they politely listened and went on their way. Why on Earth did anyone need such an elaborate explanation to do something that felt so good?”
Adam, Aaron, and Bob walked downtown together. There was so much to look at. There was always so much happening. They walked together in a straight line. Their legs swung back and forth in unison. Their arms swished together at the precise same moment.
They passed a woman in the park.
“Hi boys,” she said.
“Hello pretty lady.”
They walked past a large building. Business men poured out the front door like water spiraling down the toilet. They were in such a hurry. They had important things to tend to.
But not Adam, Aaron and Bob.
They waved at the passing business men.
“Hello business men.”
They didn’t wave back.
The gang felt sad at first. But quickly cheered up again when they remembered where they were heading. They were going to Charlie’s liquor store!
They turned the corner at the large building.
Adam was first. Then Aaron. Last was Bob.
Charlie saw them coming a block away. He got out of his seat and waved at them as they drew closer.
“Welcome! Come have something cold to drink!”
Charlie was a kind man. He even ripped down the ‘no shoes, no service’ sign just to make them feel more comfortable. Why should they feel bad about who they were?
They hadn’t had the same luck at other stores.
They were usually greeted by angry storeowners shouting at them the moment they set foot into their establishment.
“Get those disease infested, dirty, caveman, stinky, pointy feet out of here before you get everyone here SICK!”
That was the typical response.
Charlie loved them. They were like the three children he never had.
The guys stood in line. Each of them was holding a small bottle of apple juice. They were all thirsty. They walked all the time.
“You know, you boys ought to come by my house this weekend. I’m having a BBQ. My nieces will be there. You’ll like them for sure. They can be a handful, but they are good girls. Not like the kind you see nowadays.”
“Sounds great.”
AJ came running in the store. He was out of breath.
“Hello AJ,” they said.
“Hi guys,” He said still breathing heavy.
“How’s it going AJ,” Charlie said. Charlie wasn’t quite as enthusiastic to see AJ. He liked AJ alright, but boy could he talk…
“Charlie, I was wondering if you had the latest edition of ‘Elegant Bride.’”
“What on Earth do you need the latest edition of Elegant Bride for?”
“Research!” He stroked his long beard.
“Just a second.” Charlie reached under the counter. He pulled out a thick magazine and handed it to AJ. “That’ll be three dollars.”
AJ plopped the money done on the counter.
The guys grabbed their juices and headed back to their house. AJ followed along.
They took the long way back. They wanted to pass by the art museum. There were some interesting statues outside the building!
“That sure is spectacular,” they said.
“It reminds me of the leaning tower of pizza,” AJ said.
“What’s the leaning tower of pizza?”
“It’s a sophisticated architectural structure located just off the coast of Norway. The Vikings used it as a landing dock in the nineteenth century. It is considered to be one of the eight wonders of the world since no one has yet been able to deduce how they got all that concrete out to sea.”
They headed across the lake to a quiet coffee shop with a nice deck outside. They drank warm lattes and enjoyed the strumming of the house musician.
“What’s going on, guys? Having a nice afternoon or what?” he said between songs.
“Hello guitar player!”
As the day wore on they started getting tired. They knew if they didn’t take a nap soon they would start to get grumpy. They quickly ended their sight seeing detour and took the quickest way home. AJ had too much energy to take a nap. He said his goodbyes and heading off in a different direction.
As they walked home, they had an interesting conversation.
“What do you suppose is the purpose of life?” Adam asked.
“I don’t know. I always thought you knew,” Aaron said.
“That’s funny, I always thought you knew,” Adam said.
“Maybe we both know.”
“Maybe.”
“What if I know?” Bob said.
“Yeah. Maybe you know.”
When they arrived home, they went straight to their room. They each went to their own bed. They slept on a triple decker bunk bed. Adam’s was the bottom bed. Aaron’s was the next one up. Bob was on top.
They had each saved one final sip of apple juice. They gulped it down and shut their eyes.
“What do you suppose happens when you fall asleep?” Adam asked.
“I don’t know. I think you start to dream.” Aaron said.
“Yeah, but what are dreams really?” Adam said.
“I always figured they were interesting parables your mind makes up to keep you entertained while you’re sleeping.”
“Did you know that my dog dreams?” Bob said.
“How do you know?”
“Because he barks when he’s sleeping.”
The guys talked for several hours before they were ready to fall asleep.
Adam nodded off first. Then Aaron. Bob had almost fallen asleep, when something pulled him out. There was a long, thin pink thread coming out of the wall above his bunk.
“Did you know that there’s a long, thin pink thread coming out of the wall above my bunk,” Bob said, waking up Adam and Aaron.
“No…how long had it been there?
“I don’t know.”
Adam and Aaron climbed out of their covers and went up to the top bunk where Bob sat staring at the peculiar pink thread.
“I’ve never seen it before,” Bob said.
“Neither have I, but I don’t normally sit on your bunk,” Adam said.
Aaron reached out his index finger and lightly touched it.
“Don’t do that,” Bob said.
“What should we do?”
“I think we should pull it,” Aaron said.
No one responded. The guys sat and pondered their options. If they left the pink thread alone, surely no harm would come to them, but neither would anything good.
Bob gave the thread a good tug. Several feet spun out of the wall. It spiraled down to the floor creating a small pill of pink yarn. It looked like a sagging cotton candy puddle.
But more thread stuck out from the wall.
“What do we do now?”
“Look there is a hole in the wall.”
Indeed, a small hole the size of baseball was left where the thread originally poked out from the wall.
“Are you sure that hole wasn’t there two minutes ago?”
“I’m almost positive.”
Aaron looked down at the dangling thread. It looked thicker than the original piece had. There was enough now to knit a small pillow.
Adam, without announcing it, grabbed the new end of the thread of yanked on it. A whole new trail zipped out of the wall like a flying snake. There was so much thread in their room they could knit a pink teddy bear.
Bob really wanted a new teddy bear.
The hole in the wall had grown. Half the wall was now missing. More thread poked out from the wall.
“What do we do now?”
“We should probably pull on the thread again.”
There was little hesitance from anyone. They had already committed themselves to pulling on the thread. Wasn’t much more damage they could do at this point. Aaron wrapped the thread around his finger and tipped back.
It came off so easily. The rest shot down on the ground. They could knit a small army of teddy bears if they wanted to.
Maybe on a lazy Sunday afternoon when they had nothing better to do.
Where the wall had been was only a hole.
On the other side of the hole there was a room just like theirs. Only the colors were different. Where something was white in their room, it would be black on the other side of the hole. Where something in here was blue, it was red over there.
“Guys, I believe that everything happens for a reason and I believe we were meant to find this hole,” Aaron said.
“But suppose we enter the other side and we’re attacked by a gang of killer robots?” Adam said.
“If we go over there, either something really good will happen or something really bad. Or maybe nothing will happen.”
After much discussion, the guys felt the best decision would be to take their chances and satisfy their curiosity.
Danger was their middle names.
Adam put his head through the hole. It felt like water, but lighter and fluffier, like a large pancake bouncing on his neck. He pushed his body through. Aaron followed him.
Bob was last.
They passed through a small tunnel and fell into the strange room they had seen back from their own room. It was an exact replica of theirs. Right down to the detail.
There was Adam’s playstation. There was Aaron’s hackey sack. There was Bob’s mini computer. But all the colors were weird.
There were also three guys in the room that looked just like Adam, Aaron and Bob. They were built just like them. Even barefoot like them. But where there should have been smiles as wide as the moon, there were big frowns.
“Who are you?” The others said.
“We are Adam, Aaron, and Bob. We are happy to make your acquaintance!”
“Those are our names too. What a shame.”
The guys looked around at everything. It was a lot to take in. At first they weren’t so sure what to think about all the weird colors. But maybe these colors were better than their own colors!
“You guys have some room here! Everything is gorgeous.”
“It’s a real mess,” the other said. “We hate it.”
“Go away,” they added. “We are trying to sleep.”
The others were lying on the ground in a pile. Their beds looked like they hadn’t been used in years. There were no pillows and no blankets.
“Why aren’t you using your beds to sleep?” The guys asked. They looked around the room to get a better look at everything.
“It hurts my back.”
“I hate being so close to the wall.”
“I don’t like being so high up.”
The guys inspected the bed. It was no different than the bed they had been using. It had always been perfectly effective for them. They enjoyed sleeping on their bed very much.
“Isn’t there a way to make your bed better suited for each of you? I’m sure that if you added a few pillows it would be more comfortable for your back and I imagine that if you scooted the bed away from the wall you wouldn’t have to be so close and I’m pretty sure that if you chose the bottom bunk you wouldn’t feel at all like you were too high up.”
“Sounds like too much work. We are perfectly unhappy right here.”
The others closed their eyes and attempted to fall asleep.
“I am confused,” Aaron said. “I do not understand what reason we were meant to come here.”
“Perhaps we were meant to see a less appreciative reflection of ourselves so that we may go back to our lives and be happier.” Adam said.
“But I already am extremely happy. How can I be any happier?” Aaron said.
“There are big questions that may not have answers,” Bob said.
The three guys sat down on the bunk bed in the others’ room.
“Are you going to keep making noise?” The others said. “You are bothering us.”
“I am less happy here,” Aaron said.
The guys decided they could no longer stand to be in the others’ room so they left. But they did not return to their own room, they walked out the front door of the others’ house and explored the world that the others lived in.
The neighborhood that the others lived in was in many ways identical to the neighborhood the guys lived in. But there were little differences. For instance, the cats all barked and the dogs meowed. When the leaves became loose, they fell up towards the sky instead of on the ground.
People had telephones at the end of their driveways instead of mailboxes.
The wheels on the cars were triangle shaped.
Children went up the slides and not down. The squirrels dug nuts from their hiding places and put them back on the trees. The kids referred to themselves as mommy and daddy and called their parents their own name.
“This is an odd place,” Bob said.
The three guys walked down the street looking at everything. Their eyes digested the visual candy that was this funny kaleidoscope world.
“But it is interesting,” Adam added.
“I think it’s odd and interesting,” Aaron said.
They all nodded, agreeing with each other.
There was something else different about this world the guys hadn’t yet noticed. Nobody was wearing shoes. At least every person that passed by them. Barefoot and proud.
It was Bob that was first to notice. He pointed it out to Aaron. Aaron pointed it out to Adam. The three of them were shocked. Barking cats were one thing, but a world where everybody walked around on their bare feet? It seemed too good to be true.
Adam stopped a young mother. She was dragging her kid in a stroller. They were heading in the direction of the hospital.
“Excuse me ma’am. I was wondering if you could do us a little favor,” Adam said.
“I would like to, but I am in a rush you see.”
“It will only take a second,” Adam responded.
“Very well. What can I do for you?” She stopped. She leaned against the stroller.
Aaron jumped in.
“Why doesn’t anyone where shoes in this place?”
“Shoes,” she said. “What are shoes?”
“Uh…you know…” Bob stammered. He pointed to his feet. “You put them on your feet.”
“You put something on your feet?” She said.
“We don’t. But other people do.” Adam said.
“Why would anybody want to do that?” She said. She picked up one of here legs and inspected her foot. It was full of mud. Hard and thick as dirt clods.
“Beats me,” Aaron said.
She smiled. “Sorry. I gotta go. Good luck to you finding shoes.”
She left.
“I don’t want to find shoes,” Adam said.
“Me nether.”
“Me neither.”
They stood on the sidewalk for several minutes staring at one another. It was getting late. The sun was beginning to rise.
“This place is perfect,” Aaron said. “We should go to Charlie’s store. I’m thirsty. I’ll bet there’s a Charlie in this world too. It would be very nice to see him. He always treated us so nice.”
The guys headed in the direction of the mountain, since in their world they always went away from the mountain to go to Charlie’s store.
“Wait,” Adam said. “I bet the Charlie of this world isn’t going to be nice to us.”
“That makes sense.”
A car passed by them. It sounded like a steam train.
“And I’ll bet the AJ in this world doesn’t talk quite so much.”
“That also makes sense.”
They turned around and walked away from the mountain. They could go anywhere in this world and no one would kick them out.
Anywhere but Charlie’s store.
But Charlie’s store was the one place they felt most at home at and now it was the one place they were restricted to ever set foot in again.
They gained the world but lost their home.
The guys felt a sadness wash over them like a warm bubble bath.
“Should we go back to our world where we can be with Charlie?” Bob asked.
“If we do that we will have to leave this place where we are free to go anywhere,” Aaron said.
“But here we cannot see Charlie,” Adam added.
The guys began to walk back towards the other’s home to enter back into their world. Then they changed their mind and headed back the other way. They changed their mind again and headed toward their home. Then they changed it again.
They couldn’t make up their mind.
They sat down on the park bench. It looked in a lot of ways like the park benches where they came from, but it was upside down and full of polka dots.
“There must be a way to gain the benefits of both places and be happier than we’ve ever been,” Bob said.
“What if we lived in both worlds?” Adam suggested.
“How would we do that?” Aaron said.
“We could live one day in this world, then the next day back in our world. The following day we would return here, then the day after we would return to our world.” “That sounds like a great idea.”
And so it went. Adam, Aaron, and Bob, just three guys that liked to walk around in their bare feet lived a full day in each world then went back to the other. They were able to enjoy living in a world where they were just like everyone else and a world where they were special. They were twice as happy as they ever were.
Plus they got to hang out with two different AJs.

Gnarboots are in the doghouse!

2009-10-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

Gnarboots are serving you a banquet of bullshit.
It’s a mental apocalypse and the robots have socialized medicine.
The trees are made out of cheese. The moon is a sour apple.
And your face is a fading fog of fart.

Gnarboots have entered the solar system
We have a ten gallon hatchet and a pair of false teeth.
We have a box of sock puppets and a bunch of porcupine lips.
We got laughing gnomes trapped in the back of the shark tank.

Gnarboots want to pummel your pancakes.
We want to strangle your saltine cracker.
We want to choke your charley horse.
We want to spank your spumoni and sit down on your silly string sundae.

Gnarboots stand on a three foot pile of midgets
Midgets with wrinkled frog faces
And they have mustard for blood.
And their legs are made of sausage.

Gnarboots see beauty in your potential.
You are dressed in a cloud of puke.
Your whooshing belly is a wheelbarrow of grotesque proportions.
Your un-phallic stubby nose is a miniature ass, and we’re a miniature cock.

Gnarboots enjoy the horrible stench of plastic
It feels good to disappear in the brown fog of tonic coffee water.
It feels good to snort bullets and sagging five dollar bills.
It feels good to jerk our broke turkey necks and spit out puddles of coconut milk.

Gnarboots relax in mud baths
We think about the zombies that ate all our ancestors.
Words crash-land against the great big broccoli cheddar soup in the sky.
Other people waste time in the forest like old-fashion whores.

Gnarboots give birth to breakfast burritos.
Money tubes shaped like shit tacos.
And people eat maggots off of rotting cheese.
And their barrel butts attract the attention of tiny mosquitoes with hockey puck eyes.

Gnarboots are infested with termites.
Rotten from the inside out; frail and withered metal on the outside.
Our Kleenex skin is covered in virus digesting snot.
We’re attacking the public like a bowl of red fruit loop army ants.

Gnarboots wear plaid button up shirts.
Shiny leather boots and novelty sombreros.
As for Fashion, we aint the fucking police
But shit goes south, heads are gonna roll through the doggy door.

Gnarboots will carry you in a stroller.
Watch the world drag past your eyes.
Watch the white shit spill out your face as you think on your assumed identity.
Watch the squashed pumpkins being force fed as you try to cover your mouth.

Gnarboots give a fuck, despite what you heard.
We see the dying babies and tortured puppies and cry a pool of sorrows.
It’s just our duty. We aint your momma’s booty. We are slightly snooty, but aint got cooties.
Call us up at night and tell us where to suck it.

Gnarboots have wobbly ostrich knees.
We have a plumber’s ass, but a supermodel’s body.
We bob for apples in Bob Hope’s toilet.
And wipe that blank expression off when we’re finished.

Gnarboots know how to use a mop.
And can clean up after our incontinent pop.
Our bright white Vegas polo shirt is tucked underneath ten wife beater tank tops.
And our diapers have all the latest gizmos.

Gnarboots means business.
We mean bulging pants as face tattoos
We mean spinning waffle hats on Spring break.
We mean cows that French-kiss their grievances…and who complain in Italian.

Gnarboots will smash pistachios.
We’ll play baseball with our danglies hanging passenger seat out.
We’ll talk politics with horse faced teen sensations.
We’ll bend young girls’ ears and learn respect.

Gnarboots have a few regrets.
There were a few thoughts that were better left in the shit can.
A few comments were posted on your self-help blog that weren’t so helpful.
A few stains were wiped on your blanket while you were busy at siesta.

Gnarboots just spiked the punch!
The party was just a business brunch before we busted through the door and ate all the ham sandwiches.
The party was full of sandal stench and incense reggae dancing.
We set the room on fire and flushed the extinguisher down the test tube toilet drain.

AS SEEN ON PUNKNEWS DOT ORG

2009-10-20T13:42:00.000-07:00

G.N.A.R.B.O.O.T.S. <- You're gonna want to click that to see how important we are.

In case you didn't feel like showing up

2009-10-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

FIRST!!

2009-10-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

Stop sitting around and waiting for life to happen. You got some dreams? You got some ideas?

It's all fuckin' bullshit unless you go make it happen.